Financial Folly?

Has the financial impact of high gas prices, the shrinking dollar, joblessness and homelessness finally caught up with the Hulsebus family? Have they now been forced to sell advertising on their prized motorhome in order to put Pop Tarts on the table and Diet Coke in the Fridge?

Missing in Minnesota

What has become of the Hulsebus family?

They were last heard from some five days ago, in a terse post in which Cindi stated she had e-mailed a so-called "Pop and Dee Dee" and issued what turned out to be a vacuous promise to "write the blog for later today." Well, five days later, there are no changes to the blog and no sign of the Hulsebus family.

What could have happened? Did the motorhome fall into a Minnesota pothole? Did Peyton pawn the wedding ring and place the proceeds on red at some Indian casino? As each day proceeds with deafening silence from the family, we may never know.

This is an excellent example of what can happen when you just take off across the country on some kind of a wild lark and leave your friends behind.

We're carefully checking the police blotters for any mention of a wayward motor home, or the arrest of some dude with a mohawk, etc. We'll let you know what we find.

Bridge to Disaster

This sensational close call speaks for itself.

Child Forced To Sleep on Bed of Nails?

It was another tortured night. Young Peyton Hulsebus tossed and turned in his bed, trying to get comfortable. But who among us could possibly sleep under these conditions - ON A BED OF NAILS?!

The photo shows the shocking and graphic reality of Peyton's sleeping conditions, which are about as far from Tempurpedic as you can get.

"My guess is that something went awry with the nail gun when the manufacturer was assembling the RV bed," said Bob Bounder of the RV Assembly Association. "It's rare when something like that happens, but you know, it's just minimum wage immigrants doing the best they can with high-powered nailguns and cheap wood paneling. What do you expect?"

This latest callous display, including a fightening tangle of ungrounded home electrical cords seen in the background of the photo, indicates an unsafe condition that should spur the immediate return of the Hulsebus family to northern California.

Hulsebus Family Site Stomped in Google Search

I am pleased to report that the "Save The Hulsebus Family" blog continues to grow in popularity. In line with my diabolical plan, it has now blown past "The Hulsebus Family Dream" on the Google search engine as increasing numbers of Americans realize that it is time to bring the Hulsebus family home.

A Google search engine inquiry of "The Hulsebus Family Dream" immediate returns a link to "Save The Hulsebus Family" as the #1 search result.

"They're out there galavanting aroound the country like gas is 50-cents a gallon, taking up multiple parking spots in WalMart parking lots that could be better utilized by decent, hardworking families trying to make ends meet," said one Hulsebus family watcher who agreed to speak upon condition of anonymity. "I think this family just needs to be reunited, out here in California, so they can get back in touch with their friends again and put this escapade behind them."

Save The Hulsebus Family attempted to reach the family for comment, but they were unavailable because of inadequate cellular service on their travel route, something which could affect their safety or mental stability if they are unable to phone Dr. Phil for counsel in a crisis.

Bears Terrorize RV Park?

Sleep was disrupted for many RV'ers when the lovable mascot for a popular Wisconsin RV park suddenly turned against campersand attacked RV's. It is believed that the bear's rampage was somehow provoked by the site of a camper wearing spikey hair. This is one more reason why out-of-town RV'ers should simply return home.

Two Hulsebus Family Members Take Flight From Road Trip

Cindi Hulsebus admitted Saturday that only airport security prevented her from retrieving two of her children from the airplane they had boarded at Chicago airport.

Tanner and Sterling were shoehorned onto an overbooked flight to Sacramento without assigned seats, and for all we know, may have had to ride home in the overhead compartment.

Stewardesses could be heard warning passengers over the P.A. system to be careful opening the overhead doors because contents tend to shift during flight, and it is unlikely Tanner and Sterling would have been able to hold still for much longer than the time it took for the beverage cart to begin making its way down the aisle.

Did the emotional strain of the 30,000-mile motorhome road trip and endless evenings in WalMart parking lots nearly boil over at the airport? You be the judge. In her own words: "Good thing for security, or I probably would have chased the plane down the runway and somehow pulled them off," Cindi Hulsebus said.

The family recently has been seen catching its own dinner in fishing lakes at state parks while at the same time spending sums of cash on i-Phones at the Apple store to further line Steve Jobs' bulging pockets.

Friends, it's time to reel in the Hulsebus family. They are having too much fun, seeing too many sights, using too much gas, and not missing us enough. It is time for Change. Change is good. Unlike Obama, for which change is completely non-specific and just a good idea, I'm talking about REAL change. Change of direction: West, specifically. Please join us in building a battle cry that increases in volume and can be heard from state to state to Bring the Hulsebus Family Home.

Waking from the Dream

Stop the Insanity!

We can remain silent no more. Before our eyes, we have watched a good California family abandon their upscale home, sell their possessions, quit gainful employment and become shiftless vagabonds.

Since the Hulsebus family has hit the road, we have watched in horror as a clean-cut, God-fearing, all-American family descended into the fiery pit of travel hell, roaming from Walmart parking lot to Walmart parking lot like Mexican day workers.

It is clear that the family has lost any ability for rational judgement. Comparison of recent photographs with ones taken toward the beginning of the trip show that the Hulsebus family is regressing to primitive human roots and even picking up behavior patterns most often associated with common street gangs, homeless people and DMV workers. The signs are evident: Cheap Walgreen's lawn chairs. Threadbare Value Barn denim pants. Mohawk haircuts. Or no haircuts at all. Do they even bathe, wonder the frequent passersby?

Those brave enough to venture close to the motorhome as it idles near the recycling bins at a local Quickie Mart wonder what could be going on inside the styrofoam-insulated fiberglass walls of the aging highway beast. The door suddenly swings open and children emerge, relieved to be set free from the 20 square foot portion of their shrunken wood-paneled world in which they must spend countless days and hours.

Proving that even the simplest of pleasures are now considered extreme luxury for this family, the children stomp and splash across the parking lot in a toxic puddle of chunky blue liquid, the result of an unfortunate motorhome AHTR (Accidental Holding Tank Release) in which gallons of, uh, liquid floods the steamy, gum-stained parking lot asphalt, creating a putrid stench in the oppressively humid midwest air. Startled shoppers, holding their noses, cut a wide swath as they push their carts of 99-cent specials back to their blistered-paint Detroit beaters.

So the question is this: are YOU concerned enough about the welfare of this family so as to join this blog and support our effort to coax the Hulsebus family back into some semblence of normal life? Are you willing to extend a hand to the unfortunate of society in order to rehabilitate them and help them get back on their feet?

Will you come out against the unsanitary conditions, unsafe practices, and inadvisable influences that are now threatening the health and safety of this family?

Clearly, the Hulsebus family is no longer able to think for themselves. Clearly, they have stopped caring about those who want them back here in northern California. Clearly, they are consuming more gasoline than an Arab sheik's fleet of Mercedes as they lumber, willy-nilly, to and fro across cities and states in a misguided attempt to "see America," which can be done for a fraction of the cost simply by watching The History Channel.

We at Save The Hulsebus Family encourage you to join our blog, support our effort, initiate prayer circles, plant a Victory Garden, save aluminum foil, hold a squat-in or whatever you can do to help lure this family off the road and back to a safe location in Granite Bay where they can receive the kind of professional help they need. If you don't feel you can take this step for Dave and Cindi, at least show some compassion and do it......for the children.